Tea & Tales

If I could go back in time and give advice to my younger self, I’d start by saying: Relax. You’re doing better than you think.

In 2014, I was just starting my first year at university, and I remember feeling this immense pressure – pressure to excel academically, to fit in socially, and to be this perpetually happy, grateful version of myself. Looking back, I’d tell myself to let go of that need to control everything. Not every relationship will last, not every reaction will make sense, and that’s okay. People are different, and their actions don’t always align with your expectations. And that’s fine.

I’d also remind myself that everything happens for a reason. The setbacks, the rejections, the moments of doubt – they all shape you. It’s not worth dwelling on the past. Instead, focus on moving forward.

Lessons from Relationships and Independence

Leaving home for the first time was a big adjustment. I was living with strangers, trying to build new friendships, and making quick decisions about where I’d live. As I grew unhappier, I clung to things that I thought brought me happiness – things that, in reality, were just providing a false sense of stability.

Family was another complicated area. Even though I could see the negative impacts of certain dynamics, I was scared to let go. It took time to realise that holding on to what’s familiar isn’t always healthy.

Redefining Happiness

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that happiness doesn’t have to depend on achieving specific goals. I thought getting into medical school would solve everything – that it would erase all my doubts and insecurities. But, surprise surprise, it didn’t.

Happiness isn’t a destination; it’s found in the little moments along the way. Even when you’re not reaching your main goal, there’s still joy to be found. And sometimes, achieving that goal doesn’t bring the happiness you expected – and that’s okay too.

The Power of Persistence

It took me four attempts to get into medical school. Four sets of rejections. But if I’d gotten in on my first try, I wouldn’t have learned how to cope with failure. I wouldn’t have developed the resilience I needed to handle the pressures of medical school.

Taking a year out between my undergraduate degree and medical school was one of the best decisions I made. It gave me time to grow, to learn how to learn, and to meet Gavin – someone who’s had a huge impact on my life. I’m forever grateful for that year and all the things it taught me and everyone it brought me.

Final Thoughts

If I could sum it all up, I’d say: Be kind to yourself. Let go of what you can’t control. And trust that everything will work out in the end.

Life is full of unexpected twists, but each one teaches you something valuable. So, to anyone reading this – whether you’e a student navigating university or someone figuring out their next steps – remember: it’s okay to take your time. You’re exactly where you need to be.

What advice would you give to your younger self? Share your thoughts in the comments below!